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Talk to a friend or family member about interpersonal violence.
Share a positive bystander story on your social media site.
Ask your supervisor if your staff could sign up for a bystander training.
If you see something that makes you uncomfortable, do something.
A green dot is any action that helps create a safer community. By adding your voice and your commitment to ending violence, we can create a safer community.
Fundamentally, violence is a collection of individual choices to do harm. And each choice to do harm is a red dot on our map. A red dot is a moment in time where someone’s words, choices or actions contribute to or tolerate violence in any way. Our goal is to combat these red dots with positive green dots
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This approach just means you are directly interacting with the people involved in the situation and addressing that you are concerned. It may be a confrontation “Hey—what are you doing?”, or it may just be checking in with a friend or family member “Are you OK?”.
When you recognize a red dot situation and you may be uncomfortable saying something yourself or you feel like someone else is better suited to handle it (i.e. a friend, police, bartender, VPSO, trusted family member, elder), delegate is a solid option. Here you are asking someone else to help in the situation. They may help you—or they may do it instead of you.
If you see a situation and can think of a way to divert the attention of the people in the situation or change the focus, distract is the perfect option. Sometimes all a situation needs to diffuse is a little diversion.
In the following scenarios, which of the 3 D’s would you most likely use:
At a local restaurant or bar, you notice someone trying to take advantage of someone who has been drinking.
DIRECT: Checking in with the person who has been drinking and making sure they get home safe or challenging the person who is trying to take advantage.
DELEGATE: Alerting the bartender or finding the friends of the person who has been drinking to check in.
DISTRACT: Spill a drink to create a situation to check in or start a conversation to keep them from leaving.
A caregiver seems out of control with their young son at the park.
DIRECT: “Can I help?” or “It might be helpful to take a few breaths. I know kids can be a challenge, but I think the situation can be taken care of if you are able to calm down.
DELEGATE: Ask another bystander in the park to come with you to check in.
DISTRACT: Start a conversation with the child or with the caregiver; let your dog run to them; bounce a ball to them; drop your purse or bag next to them.